Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
