Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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