You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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