Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
