you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
