I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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