we made out on top of his cat.
My cat gives me a boner
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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