Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
