Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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