Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
