Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The ass gains better be worth it
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