She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
