I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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