I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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