he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
