Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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