its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
