I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
