why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
