A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
