Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
