He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It's just like the Real World with babies
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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