she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
