Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
