I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
