So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
