you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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