I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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