watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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