I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
