Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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