You really coming over, don't trick.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
