Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
did you just send me my own nude
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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