Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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