i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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