After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize