she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
her facebook's as public as her vagina
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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