But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize