where am i from again
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
