the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
