she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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