I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
