He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
