I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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