someone threw a dead crab at me
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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