If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
bring money and cleavage
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize