Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
