we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
