Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize