you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
