I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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