McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
