We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
