Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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