i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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