If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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