He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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