we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
