Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
