We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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