no, he came in my armpit
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
