dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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