HIV tests are more positive than that guy
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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