I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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